Rationalization for non-involvement with the poor
On Saturday of Holy Week I was invited to speak to a group of people on the topic of Jesus’ invitation to become involved with poverty. It was a wonderful group of people and an overall positive experience. I took took two of my friends with – Kutloano and Eddie. They wanted to be part of the day and I dislike going to talks alone. Plus I thought they could give some valuable non-white input. The last session on Saturday evolved into a heated debate; I loved the honesty of it. It all started when I put some stats on the screen. It consisted of the current situation in terms of (in)equality in our country (South Africa). After I put it on the screen I asked how one is to respond to it as a follower of Jesus, keeping Matthew 25 in mind.
% of population: % of income: Black African 79.4 41.2 Coloured 8.8 8.6 Indian/Asian 2.5 4.8 White 9.2 45.3 Totals 100 100
The stats elicited varied responses:
- Some were shocked at the inequality that still reigns after more than a decade of democracy. [Under the white population there is a strong myth to the contrary].
- Others questioned the validity of the stats and pointed out that any stats can easily be manipulated. Where do these stats come from?
They come from the latest round of findings published by Statistics South Africa on their website. My next slide stated that we should always remember the dangers of stats and that we are supposed to live in an incarnate narrative. In other words, stats represent people – and we have to “move into the neighborhood” like Jesus did (John 1:14). As followers of Jesus we are called to exposure, relationship and involvement with the people represented by these stats.
What followed was a deluge of rationalizations for not getting involved – and this is what this post is about (sorry for the long intro). Whenever I’ve talked about Christ’s command to be involved with the poor, predictably a set of reasons are uttered for not becoming involved. These rationalizations are designed to pacify. In the following few weeks I want to take these “thoughts captive” to obedience (to use a favorite verse of those in deliverance ministries)– but I need your help to compile a list of reasons you’ve used yourself, or heard others use for not becoming involved with the poor. I’ll start us of with a few examples and I would love to hear your thoughts in the comment section:
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Didn’t Jesus say that "we’ll always have the poor with us"?
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"If you give a man a fish you feed him for a day if you teach him to fish you feed him for a lifetime" – (the person saying this usually possess no intention in teaching to fish, it rathers serves as a way to divert from obediece).
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The government is doing such a bad job with the taxes I already pay. They have to do a better job (or how can we prophetically help them to do a better job?)
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Our church is not called to engage society in this way.
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What does it help, I once ….. (followed with a story of trying to help someone with no results – this usually initiates counter-testimonies of how people got burned trying to help)
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Africans cannot be helped because of all the corruption.
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Poor people are poor for a reason : sloth, drunkenness, stupidity, ungodliness.
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I want to help the poor but not in a "fleshly" way – I’m waiting for a revelation from God … (the revelation usually doesn’t come).
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This stuff reminds me of the ‘social gospel’ – what does it help if we send someone with a full tummy to hell?
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I just preach the gospel.
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It’s dangerous to become involved with poor people – you can loose your life if you go into the squatter camps.
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Black people are not ‘my kind of people’ aren’t there white people that we can reach out to? (this can have a variety of ethnicities in the place of white and black)
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I did a spiritual gift inventory and I don’t have a passion or the spiritual gifts to help the poor.
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I don’t want to fall in the trap of doing ‘good works’, it’s all about grace.
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Charity starts at home, I’m doing my best to give my children the best …
…. (please add your thoughts) …..
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Tom loves life and enjoys exploring as much of it as he can. He is sharing life with Lollie, Tayla and Liam as well as friends and family. He is passionate about the kingdom and how it takes expression in South Africa.
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My own personal favorite excuse is "no time", or "don't even have time for my family". Sometimes, and even as I type this, I believe this excuse.
Except for rationalisations (and excuse-making), there are some other ways to avert involvement. They include intellectualisation (saying what we know instead of doing it), projection (expecting the salvation army or government to do something) and procrastination (another one of my favorites).
Worth considering is that these are the reasons we say we can't/won't get involved. So are they the real reasons? I can imagine that some of our fears and objections operate subconsciously, e.g. fear of loss/hurt; fear of the unknown. So I assume it's also worth asking how to address those.
It simply makes me uncomfortable.
Poor people are invasive – when I go shopping (and I consider myself prudent), and there is someone else at the check out counting coins to buy bread or 2 potatoes, I feel judged.
I also don't know when enough is enough. My contribution can't save one family, let alone the millions. Should I simply give everything and also move into a shack? Where are the boundaries? Does Jesus ask me to 'empty myself'?
I get upset when people do not take care of their goods. When I give, I would like to think of it as an investment, yet clothes given is sold for less desirable stuff like liquor.
Maybe poor people were given only 'one coin', because that is all God could trust them with?
How should we help? Throwing money at a problem will not make it go away. Relationships are invasive. If I could pay someone to help train them so they can earn money, I would be very happy, but I know that idea won't fly with God.
One more thing – I get frustrated if I can't fix things. Why start with another thing I know very well I can not fix?
Christians seem to forget that Jesus commanded us to treat others as we would like to be treated. We like to recieve blessings from others and from God. Why are we then reticent in giving or being a blessing to others who cannot afford to pay us back as we cannot pay God back for His unconditional gifts and blessings. As God has no control over how we choose to deal with His gifts and blessings bestowed upon us, so we cannot place conditions on or expect positive results from what the beneficiaries of our benevolence do with our largesse we bestow upon them. Ultimately the final question is one of simple obedience to the Holy Spirit when He prompts us to give or get involved with the poor.
The reasons that I sometimes struggle with a person sitting on a street corner asking for help are varied. Sometimes I find myself asking, "If you can sit here all day with a sign in your hand, you have enough perseverance to go get a job." Sometimes, I find myself judging the person with the sign, pouring over the person's attire thinking, "Those shoes and pants you are wearing look fairly new or in good shape. Are you trying to tell me you're homeless?" Other times, even fairly recently, I've stopped, purchased food for a hungry individual, and sat down with them to talk. One guy explained to me over pizza that he used to work laying carpet but times got tough. He then told me that he had been clean (meaning off of drugs and/or alcohol) for a specific period of time and that God came first in his life, then his wife, then work. I sat there wanting to trust him, but not fully being able to go there.
Generally, I want to be able to trust that these people are really hurting before I help them. I have this inate desire to help beyond saying "poor guy" but have felt duped in the past.
I hear my heart saying that basically, I'm not concerned enough to do more than feed a poor person, or cloth a poor person. I know that to come along side someone in need takes initiation, time and sacrifice. It seems, I'm not willing to go that far.
I believe, for me to be effective in anything I do, from God's point of view (as far as I can tell), is that I absolutely have to be led or guided by, as Neels put it, ‘the prompting/s of Holy Spirit’. I agree we all have good minds and lots of truly valuable skills, but the key for me is still to be led by God’s Spirit. I lack confidence in this regard, and this is the single biggest reason that would stop me from engaging with poor people. Maybe what I consider being effective and how God looks at it is also not exactly the same, but this just creates more doubt in me on weather I am ‘doing right’. I have some experiences that was wonderful and some that were not as far as helping poor people, and looking back I cannot clearly say what were the difference/s with regards to my ‘approach’ in each case etc. I feel that I have to believe in what I am attempting, and my faith in my ‘attempt’ should be the same as my faith in God if I can put it that way, else I will not become involved easily. I feel that to have a Christian community that is prepared to take the baby steps in learning this practical applying of one’s ‘faith’ is very valuable and important, no matter all the growing pains that will go with it.
I want to, but where do I start? How do I get involved, in what way (small or large) and for how long? My life is mostly surrounded with people in the same class as myself. Poor people makes me uncomfortable so my natural inclination is to steer away from them, or give but not engage. But same interests have been an igniting point. What must my motivation be in engaging with poor people. The Holy Spirit will lead me at times, but I'm thinking more towards building relationships long term. If I think about Schalk and Moz it was a long term engagement or with you and Eddie's relationship. My time and my comfort will probably stand in the way.
One rationalization that I've often been confronted with is the one that goes something like this: "Don't help too much, or they (those being helped) might come to EXPECT it in the future." I think people that use this excuse are basically afraid that they might become trapped in their relationship with the person they are helping out. Anyway, all I know is that it often prevents people from getting involved.
And another thing that personally gets me (stops me from getting involved, especially with complete strangers), is the fear of being taken advantage of.
My first excuse is that I don't have the time or energy to help. I am already giving all of myself to my work, family and friends. Secondly I soothe my conscience by saying that the problem/need is to big out there I would never be able to make a difference. Thirdly I am scared that the receiving party would want more of me i.e. I am prepared to give them a bread, but they end up moving in with me. Fourthly but shamefully not lastly I feel that if I can work hard for my money so can they, nobody gave me free hand-outs.
This is a great conversation. I must say all of the excuses that I could think of has been mentioned.
In most of the conversations I have the "lack of time" has been used as an excuse or the line "It is not my calling or passion". Often "spiritual" interpretation of the word are also used – e.g. Matthew 25: spiritual thirst etc.
I want to add a few "good intentions"-reasons to the list as well though. There's often a "I want to, but I don't know where to start/how to begin", and often the unfortunate "In the future"-resolution (or I plan to get involved as soon as…). I think there's even a fear of: "What else will God ask of me?" (fear of losing physical stuff or comfort). Most of us know that our stewardship will be confronted as we mix with those who have less… Generally I feel that most of us just don't realize that we'll get closer to Jesus as we get involved with the poor.
I'm looking forward to many more conversations like this.
I think my biggest excuse is that I am already overwhelmed by life as it is. I don't think I can handle what is on my plate at the moment.Being faithful to God in the things that are part of my life currently – being a good wife, caring for our kids playing a role in the life of our community ,being a good employer,being a faithful friend and doing all this in a way that truly does bring glory to God.So taking on more is just not an option. Of cause as all the other excuses this one is also not true, but I have to say it feels pretty true to me.
Could it be that so much motivation is GUILT INDUCED and people's hearts are not encouraged long term by this method.
Could it be that so much motivation is GUILT INDUCED and people's hearts are not encouraged long term by this method.
SJoe, this is always a tough discussion – got very hurt when we helped a very close family member. Needed money to get started – we were glad to help only to find out all the money was wasted. Helped a second time – tried to be more involved in the process but again it turned out the wrong way. We are still helping financially where we can but I have realised I am not God..someone told us that we must be carefull not to just give money and make the people reliable on us but remind the people God is alive and we are in His hands. Giving time or money or whatever is one of my gifts but I have learned that giving is not the thing – giving as if I am giving to God is the no 1 thing. Doesn't it say if you give to them – you are giving to Me.. sorry my translation….
Pardon if I repeat what other people have said, but here are some things that come to mind, rationalizations, inhibitions, etc.: I feel awkward around poor people and am afraid I'll make them feel awkward too. I feel I should help them, but don't know how or if it's expected–and that is related to why I don't relate to them as peers. I don't know what common ground we would have. Stereotypes (sometimes based on valid data) come to mind about the poor: substance abuse, mental illness, ex-convicts, illiterate, will take advantage of attempts to help them. Because I don't know much about them as individuals, some of these stereotypes cause me to fear the poor. Are they dangerous people? On a less dramatic level, I think it's uncomfortable to open my eyes to poverty and reconcile that to my own comfortable situation. It feels unjust, yet isn't it true that God provides for my needs and all good things come from him? It's a tough one. I guess bottom line is I don't know how to find common ground with poor people, I don't come into contact with them often, and I don't know what to do with the feeling that I should help them.
Blame it on Apartheid, I say!
US versus THEM.
Our city was designed to keep us apart. Fairland from Claremont. Melville from Jan Hofmeyr. Fourways from Diepsloot.
OUR community issues have nothing to do with THEIR community issues.
Not being part of the same community (residential, but sadly faith as well) always makes poverty THEIR issue.
So, we live with generalised statements – based, mostly, on a few (if not one) experiences: Can WE trust THEM? THEY will only abuse OUR goodness. Poverty is THEIR fault, because THEY are all lazy (unlike all of US, obviously).
Ever noticed how the boundary of what makes us us is moved to justify arguments: white & black, English & Afrikaans, Joburg east, west, south or north, South African & the rest of Africa, poor & rich.
It is easy to forget that life, people, communities and poverty are much more complex than general statements.
And, since it is only natural for US to take care of OUR community issues in the little free time we have (schools, safety, potholes?), THEIR issues are left for when we have time to “reach out”. Making it quite true, I think, that we just don't have time for the poor.
Can we ever really care, love or begin to understand if we do not live, worship, eat, struggle together?
I know you don't know me – i am kristina sklar's sister. i am a social worker helping poor families on welfare in america, in california (i run a mental health clinic for people on welfare). i rarely even say what i do when "in the church" because i have been so disappointed… people verbally say they care about the poor – but do little in action. i understand the poor in africa make the "poor in america" seem silly to some – but it exists here as well, often poor in spirit is even more prevelant combined with poverty. very interesting points… i DO feel God has called me to care for the "poor" in america and sometimes all the "stereotypes" are true-as sad as it is. i feel God has placed me in my role to weed out the "scammers" and be a link to the Christian world who wants to help. It is true that many poor have mental illness, substance abuse, history of abuse, etc.- that makes it even more important to help!
Some of the more ridiculous excuses I have heard include statements such as "they want to live like that, and in anyway, they all have big houses in the rural areas (tuislande)" -referring to people living in the squatter camps, "they are not really poor, look at the clothes they wear, it’s better than mine!” “ they have very low monthly costs, basically just food and transport, I have to pay my house, car, petrol, insurance, electricity etc etc", and "they bring it over themselves, look how many children they have, I can't afford to have more children yet all of them have lots of kids, it’s their own irresponsibility that causes their suffering". I also find that people belonging to a institution such as a church helping the poor claim/count that institution’s effort as their own even though they have never actually participated themselves either physically of financially.
For myself I must admit that my excuses are probably not less ridiculous. Mostly I must admit fear, fear of being asked what I cannot give (or do not want to give), fear of being taken advantage of, fear of insulting someone’s dignity, fear of a relationship where I cannot do enough to help and the sadness in my own heart because of that, fear of guilt about what I have/own. Another excuse is also “not knowing what to do”; I must say I have found I can overcome this in participating in group efforts or in a relationship. Being in a real relationship/friendship makes me really want to help and give as much as possible to make my friends’ burden lighter, but it also makes it much harder as I cannot walk away from it and have to carry that person's burden as well hence I find that I try to hide from opportunities to build such relationships out of fear of pain when I cannot help and even worse guilt when I do not want to help because I do not want to deprive myself of something. Time is also one of my excuses as it feels that I just have so much to do and to take on more seems impossible. It is definitely easier to hide behind these excuses than to venture “out there”.
One comment that I often hear (phrased in a variety of ways) AND HAVE TO DEAL WITH INTERNALLY MYSELF is this;
There is more need out there than what I can possibly deal with. The overwhelming size of problems can lead to inaction.
My comments are a little 'off base' compared to the other posts I scan read. Nonetheless here they are….
Most excuses come from two groups; – those that try to avoid responsibility (and I see most of the posts and remarks target that group)
- those that have made honest attempts, and have been disillusioned.
These two groups might sound very similar as you look at the wording of protests but they come from different sets of heart intent.
It would be too easy/convenient to lump them all together. But this protest of the stultifying size of problems is one of many that we truly have to address if we are to help people get involved in helping.
I have a limited amount of time on this planet, if I am going to act, I want my actions to count. I do not want to waste the time and resources I have on lost causes, however noble that might be. (It might make for a great plot but it sucks as a lifestyle.)
People will only get involved if they believe that what they are doing will 'matter' (i.e. have real visible results.)
It is all good and well to tell people that they should help 'holistically' i.e. with more than 'spiritual' matters but should include tangible aspects of people's lives. ALRIGHT but then you should provide them with the assurance that there will also be TANGIBLE results/change impact.
The size of the problem and the seeming limited resources to make a true, measurable impact is a real problem, not theoretical.
This goes for a variety of areas like wealth discrepancies, health issues, world evangelism, social deviancy, childhood protection, educational imbalances, intolerance, deceptive philsophies/religions, addictions etc.
I have spent the last 8 of my 11 years in ministry reaching out to the economic 'have not's' in another country and a different set of cultural interplay. So maybe I am off base but hear me out.
(I have some ideas on this but would like to hear some responses.)
I am involved- and I think I have personally heard all the above excuses. But today I heard a couple again: "I'm not the type like you that think I can save Africa" a female colleague told me." An older man also said: "You are a bunny hugging tree lover aren't you?" And I was really pissed off that these two chose, instead of self-reflection, some cheap arrogant line that attacks in stead of explore. I replied and stated that I know very well I can't save Africa and yes I do like trees.
But I think the excuses are so inadequate that many have stopped trying to 'defend' or justify, they rather revert back to the teenage strategy of sarcasm, jokes and cheap attacks on those that try. I'm so tired of engaging this kind of thing, especially if this line of 'thought' is from so-called Christians. These days I don't even argue, I just say: "whatever" and then I try to move on and continue to engage my own tensions, desires and convictions.
Personally my reason for NOT getting involved is very simple: COMFORT. I always have to sacrifice comfortabillity – be it physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, financial or intellectual.
Every single involvement that I ever had with poor people involved a sacrifice of some kind in my own comfort. And every single un-involvement by choice was because of my unwillingness to sacrifice, and choice NOT to be uncomfortable….
I am helping/involved….I'm giving money to the "church"