We were really proud of him.

Liam’s name was inspired by the life of William Wilberforce who was one of the main abolutionists against slavery. Liam, which is derived from William means, “protector” and “strong willed”.

I pray and hope that Liam will continue to be a champion of the humanity of people.

And he inspires me to do the same.

To have the guts to say, “… he/she is a human”.

Every developer and estate agent will tell you: House buying is all about location, location, location. I couldn’t agree more. Having just moved into my first own(ed) house in Cosmo City Ext.8, I’m already experiencing my location doing a work in me. The area I stay in is especially developed for 1st time home-owners and is integrated with the low-cost housing of Cosmo City. My bedroom window looks out on the RDP housing and Itsoseng (an informal settlement that will eventually also get low-cost housing). Every morning as I rise and draw the curtains to let in the warm SA sunshine, my view brings a liberating light to my potentially selfish soul. It reminds me that I have been given the gift of stewardship. It reminds me that God loves all of humanity and loves it when we love each economically-, culturally- and religiously different/same ‘other’. I truly mean that it brings light. We become free when we can part from our possessions, share what we have and make our circle bigger. We become free when our gratitude grows into maturity through tangible generous living.

What is it like to stay in Cosmo City? It’s joyfully wonderful. Kids play in the street, there are not a lot of fences and people greet each other. Most of my neighbours have beautiful, tender stories to tell about how their dreams came true of owning a house or how they’re the first in generations of their families to own a house. The dignity and privilege of ownership is visible and often reminds me of Genesis 1.

The process that led up to owning a house was quite a rollercoaster one for me. Up & down I considered stewardship, rootedness, mobility, wealth, equality and the dreams I had as a little girl. Ownership wasn’t the issue, but ‘settling down’ was. As a witness to the lives of Joburg-citizens, I’m petrified of a life that’s burdened down by mortgage payments, private property philosophy, fear and postponed dreams. It seems to me that those who own more, fear more. I wasn’t sure if I could trust myself in holding on to the belief that ‘What I have, has been given’, that I’m merely a steward. (I’m still not so sure, but I’m confident that my location might help me with this). I didn’t earn my education, cultural background, family and intellect. I was a beneficiary, and have now been given a lifelong mission to share what I’ve been graciously given. I want to embrace this reality and the joyful opportunity it offers.

During the house-buying process, I had to attend a ‘1st time home-owners’ class. Being the only white person on the block, I’ve never in my life been so aware of how important 1st impressions are. Since then, the awareness hasn’t stopped. The day I’ve been handed my house-keys , the developer asked if I’ve bought a house for my maid. Since then I’ve been asked similar questions about this ‘maid’. This obviously brings me great delight to tell my community that I’m their neighbour and that I will be the maid of the house. I’ve been curious to know if I might be staying in the same street than some of my other friends’ garden/house staff though ☺. To add to the confusion, Doc Mabila, my previous house-mate (30 year old ex pro-footballer who works with my friend Schalk), has moved with me, so I look forward to all the funny gossip stories this will bring. ‘Love your neighbour as yourself’ gets a new meaning if you’re the neighbour that’s hoping for the acceptance in an environment where, historically or through personal Apartheid stories, people have good reasons not to trust you.

Owning a house is teaching me how to ask for help. Every day a different handyman knocks on the door offering welding, building or carpenter-skills. (I’m tempted to make an artwork out of their business cards.) The youth I work with has been life-savers, a lot of them have plenty of handy-man skills or contacts and have come to my rescue. Their lives tell stories of survival, and therefore many have acquired multiple skills in order to get piece jobs and feed their families. Who knew that I know so little of so many things . I’m totally hopeless in helping myself with most of the things required: How do I make a garden? How to put in a floor? Hanging stuff, Etc ,etc, etc! It feels like I’ve been hi-jacked by an insecure, indecisive, overwhelmed version of me. It’s been a great ego-busting experience thus far! I’m surprised at how difficult it is for me to ask for help and to receive it. I’ve identified a pride that I don’t like, and how I control relationships by being the ‘giver’. In receiving I make myself vulnerable and allow love to enter. This is community, and I have a lot to learn and unlearn. My location will be the best teacher I can ask for.

To God, I ask for His prophetic imagination. I dream of making my home a house of healing, exposure and reconciliation. I dream of having a playground for the kids on the block and a community vegetable garden in my back yard. I dream of community, and I ask for the courage to live consciously and intentionally to make these dreams a reality. For anyone who’s currently feeling ‘stuck’, I would recommend looking at their location. Where and with whom you spend your time will shape your being. Simple. True. Be brave, and change it. Move if you have to. God has a soft place for the broken, if you want Him, that’s where to look.

My dad passed away 10 years ago, and this has been a time where I’ve missed his presence deeply: helping me decide, putting in skirtings, giving me a bear hug, etc. A few months after his death, we sold our big house in Ruimsig and my mom built herself a beautiful smaller house. She handpicked everything… I remember that this process was a lot like the movie “Life as a House”. Building a house was part of her healing, part of her new beginning. I have a similar sentiment when it comes to this precious new house of mine. I have a beautiful opportunity to build a new Life. God has been writing a story for 31 years in me… perhaps just laying a foundation. Now He’s continuing the story of Beauty and Justice through using a house in a specific location. This will be a building process to help align my beliefs with my life, in a new location that will provide opportunity for reconciliation, love of ‘others’ and befriending the poor.

Mi Casa Su Casa,

My house is your house

My house is Your house

Home is where the heart is

Make my heart Your home

Make Your home in me

In order for the oppressed and the oppressor to become a new humanity, a “third way” has to be explored.  This way is a different space than the ones occupied by the oppressor and the oppressed.  It therefore, looks different than the lives of the white oppressors and of the black oppressed in our post-Apartheid South Africa.

Freire comments that the dehumanization of the oppressed will have some concrete effects,

Because it is a distortion of being more fully human, sooner or later being less human leads the oppressed to struggle against those who made them so. In order for this struggle to have meaning, the oppressed must not in seeking to regain their humanity (which is a way to create it), become in turn oppressors of the oppressors, but rather restorers of the humanity of both.

In our post- Apartheid South Africa the beneficiaries of Apartheid and the oppressed of Apartheid are both dehumanized.  Both parties need restoration.  Freire boldly states that the oppressed has the challenge to struggle against the oppressors in such a way that they:

-  Don’t become like the oppressors.

-  Restores the humanity of their oppressors!

He states it bluntly,

This, then, is the great humanistic and historical task of the oppressed: to liberate themselves and their oppressors as well. The oppressors, who oppress, exploit, and rape by virtue of their power; cannot find in this power the strength to liberate either the oppressed or themselves. Only power that springs from the weakness of the oppressed will be sufficiently strong to free both. Any attempt to “soften” the power of the oppressor in deference to the weakness of the oppressed almost always manifests itself in the form of false generosity; indeed, the attempt never goes beyond this. In order to have the continued opportunity to express their “generosity,” the oppressors must perpetuate injustice as well. An unjust social order is the permanent fount of this “generosity” which is nourished by death, despair, and poverty. That is why the dispensers of false generosity become desperate at the slightest threat to its source.

There is a difference between true and false generosity.  False generosity is a kind of giving that gives goods that are received through oppression and through current injustices.  The “fount” is unjust.  It takes what belongs to the poor and then gives a portion back, and then calls it generosity.  The church Father Basil the Great identified this kind of generosity when he once challenges his church saying that what they are giving away as charity is what they stole in the first place.  Basil showed them how “false” their generosity was.

True generosity happens when the sources of injustice are challenged.  In Freire’s words,

True generosity consists precisely in fighting to destroy the causes which nourish false charity. False charity constrains the fearful and subdued, the “rejects of life” to extend their trembling hands. True generosity lies in striving so that these hands — whether of individuals or entire peoples — need be extended less and less in supplication, so that more and more they become human hands which work and, working, transform the world.

In my humble opinion, this false generosity is at the heart of most outreach in churches (and a lot of time myself).

The oppressor cannot identify these “causes which nourish false charity”.  It has to be identified by the oppressed.

In plain language- a group of beneficiaries of Apartheid cannot sit in an all-white discussion and identify how to be truly generous.  The main reason why we cannot do this, is because our rationalizations for our false generosity are shared rationalizations.  Years of collective rationalizations have become so common-sense for us, that it would take outsiders to puncture our paradigms.

The rich, beneficiaries of Apartheid have to become students.  We have to become apprentices of the poor. We have to listen. Learn.  Freire describes it,

“This lesson and this apprenticeship must come, however, from the oppressed themselves …”

Yet, this apprenticeship will not come by chance.  It will come through a decision of the oppressed themselves.  They have to decide that they have an enormous role to play.[1]

But what do we do when thousands of our black brothers and sisters believe that they don’t have a role to play?  When their self-image have been destroyed to such an extent that they can see no way forward? Do they know how desperately we need them to teach and show us?

[1] “They will not gain this liberation by chance but through the praxis of their quest for it, through their recognition of the necessity to fight for it.”

A lover decided to spread her message of hope. She invited people into creating a community of love and goodness.

She shared her message on twitter and in 144 characters she proclaimed her delightful dreams with her audience. But the tweet got lost in a stream of other tweets. People didn’t understand the amazing invitation, the devil distracted them.

In her second tweet she added the hashtag #AMAZINGOPPORTUNITY and a shortened link to a web page with a longer message. When her recipients saw it they immediately RT’d the message but didn’t click on the link. She even linked her twitter account to Facebook and a lot of people “liked” her post. However the joy and excitement ended with sending the RT or “liking” the post, it didn’t take any further root in their actions.

Her third tweet had a RT of her tweet from a celebrity tweeter [insert celebrity name here], because people loved the celebrity they RT’ed the tweet and some people even clicked on the link. Unfortunately the advertisements flashing on the side of the linked webpage distracted them. Some were stressed out by the SARS deadline while others were excited about the advertisment offering the possibility of winning an Ipad2.

Thankfully the fourth tweet were RT’ed, linked and read by a group of people who read the post and formed a loving community of people living the adventure of love. Those who read tweets, Listen!

“The Christendom era has left the body of Christ with toxins in its bloodstream-practices, instincts, commitments, structures, attitudes, biases, compromises, and reactions that damage our health and disfigure our witness. We need to purge these toxins from our system.”

I know the toxins he refers to very well. These toxins run within my system with regularity. So how can we detox ourselves from these toxins? Over the last ten years Lollie and I have experimented with a few detox methods. We have purged ourselves through,

Confession: It is easy to point the finger at an impersonal system or “they” when it comes to the toxins in the Christendom system. It is harder and healthier to acknowledge our own complicity. Constantine is not to blame for all the problems of the church, I am involved to. I mention three confessions Lollie and I have had to made. Firstly, we confess that in many ways the church has become our idol. It took the place of Jesus in our lives. Secondly, we confess that we have found our security in the church. Particularly in the sense of “the church pays our salary”. This is related to idolatry but worthy to point out on its own. If I believe that “the church pays my salary” then I will become a puppet in their hands wanting to keep the employers happy. It has been said that people can’t dare to dream in new ways who are paid to stay stuck in the status quo. Thirdly, we confess our lying. One of the most harmful toxins is the poison of always trying to wow. Whether that is in numbers, or ‘being funky’ or whatever. Embellishing stories and experiences or numbers is just not on. We need to recover imaginations of daily grind ordinariness. Otherwise we become, what Eugene Peterson calls, ecclesiastical pornographers.

Conversations: Another way to detox is to change the conversations I am having. A few years ago I read how Henri Nouwen lamented his own obsession with church. He noted that he was saddened by how much he was talking or actually moaning about the church especially when he compared that with the amount of conversations he had about Jesus or even healthier with Jesus. After reading this I started keeping a mental scoreboard of sorts. Most weeks it read : Church (112 conversations) Jesus (3 conversations). Part of detoxing is the invitation to talk more to and about Jesus than about church. Another way to change the conversation is to move from the what-is-wrong-with-church conversation towards the what-do-we-think-Jesus-is-calling us towards conversation. Instead of focusing on what is wrong, what is it that we are called towards? Then we can live into and embodying of that, even within our current contexts. The question then becomes, “how am I living the church life I am imagining” instead of the “bitching-and-moaning-about-what-is-wrong” conversations that usually leave us depressed and sucks the energy out of us. Detoxing involves new conversations.

Abstinence: Earlier this morning I asked Lollie what some helpful detoxes might be. Her first response was that when we need to detox, we have to acknowledge that we are addicted. Without this admission it would be very hard to move forward. The acceptance and claiming of addiction must then move towards abstaining. Stopping activities that are harmful. To use addiction recovery language, “to go cold turkey”. Abstain. Church condomize. The toxins referred to in the quote above has some benefits for us, and these benefits give us a fix. It might be an ego fix, or as I already mentioned a financial itch or it might be the self-justification itch. Whatever it is, we have to confess that we are addicted and figure out what it is and then fill that with healthier habits. One of the clearest statements on addiction comes from the Church of the Saviour community when they write that,

WE ARE CULTURAL ADDICTS AND WE CANNOT BREAK THIS ADDICTION ALONE.

Finally seeing this truth really “getting it” that we are addicted to the very culture and the very way in which we live is the beginning of true freedom. When we finally see that we are addicted to a culture of comfort, security, competition, praise, staying busy, controlling people, being in shallow relationships, having too much or too little money, worrying, seeing ourselves as superior or inferior to others that a vast assortment of sensations, behaviors, substances and activities keep us disconnected from our real feelings and needs and disconnected from God we can then unmask the false nature of this cultural system and see that it can never give us what we long for. We will be able to see at last how much we have depended on this false system, and how utterly helpless we are to break our dependence and to heal ourselves.

Then, together with every alcoholic or drug addict who has hit bottom and cried out for help, we too will cry out for a Saviour and for a faithful community to save us from our cultural addiction. At this point, humbled and ready to receive mercy and healing love, we see the truth and commit ourselves to becoming recovering cultural addicts and to being used by God in whatever ways God chooses.

From the deepest parts of us we now understand that we can no longer pretend that everything is fine and we can manage our lives alone. We must join ourselves with others for our mutual healing and transformation. We need others who are equally serious about taking hold of the liberating Christ. We need …

• a group, in Christ, that is breaking with the culture, the world’s systems, and providing support for total recovery from that culture

• a reconciling group of extreme diversity, especially highly privileged and severely oppressed

• a group closing the gap between the deepening of personal faith and the expression of that faith in public political ways

• a group seeking biblical justice in all forms, including the redistribution of wealth

• a praying group, growing in our capacity to love, understanding that authentic love is always nonviolent.

These are just some early morning thoughts as I drink some of my coffee … I would love to hear some other ideas, practices or thoughts.

One of the jumping-with-excitement passages in the New Testament comes from the writings of Matthew. The Message translation reads,

“Abruptly Jesus broke into prayer: “Thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth. You’ve concealed your ways from sophisticates and know-it-alls, but spelled them out clearly to ordinary people. Yes, Father, that’s the way you like to work.” Jesus resumed talking to the people, but now tenderly. “The Father has given me all these things to do and say. This is a unique Father-Son operation, coming out of Father and Son intimacies and knowledge. No one knows the Son the way the Father does, nor the Father the way the Son does. But I’m not keeping it to myself; I’m ready to go over it line by line with anyone willing to listen. “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”” (Matthew 11:25–30, The Message)

In this passage there are two jumping-with-trusting-excitement scenes. The first is when Jesus jumps into his Father’s arms. The scene brims with energy and pulsates with playfulness. In prayer Jesus jumps into the Father’s arms. He knows that the Father is trustworthy, he is “Lord of heaven and earth”. It was a Jewish way to say that God is amazing.

A few years ago there was an advertisement on television about a dad picking his son up from school. The dad then asks his son how his day was. The son tells him that they played a lot and that they had a discussion about whose dad was the best. The dad asks, “what did you say?”, the son looks at his dad and says, “nothing dad, I only smiled.”

The son smiles because he knows that his dad is the best – there is no debate about this. I wonder what your image of the Fathers is? Do you think God is “Lord of heaven and earth”? Or are you afraid of God? Is God someone you feel like running towards or rather someone you are running from? Jesus talks about God in a tenderly way – he wants to share with those who are listening about his amazing and unique “Father-Son operation”.

The second scene is when Jesus invites all to come. This scene is not just a jumping-with-trusting-excitement scene but also a I-am-hurt-and-need-rest scene or a I-want-to-learn-what-it-means-to-live scene. What strikes me in this scene is how Jesus invites us and then helps us with our trust issues. Have you noticed that children will run towards someone when there is relationship? It is when they feel safe with the person calling them to come, that they actually come. We have all experienced that odd moment when a strange aunt or uncle invites children into a hug or embrace and when the child shies away. In the absence of trust, people won’t come.

That is why I think Jesus tells us that when we come he will not place anything “ill-fitting” on us. He says that he is gentle and humble. And when we come to him, he will teach us. But do we believe Jesus has something to teach us? Do we think that he is smart enough to help with our actual lives? Or is He good enough for saving our souls but not really in touch with the realities of our lives? Jesus calls us into a rest that involves learning. I really like the way Warren Carter talks about this passage when he writes that,

“Throughout his ministry, Jesus has been about the task of forming a community of disciples centered on himself with alternative commitments and social practices. This community is not to imitate the imperial society. It is marked by service to one another, not domination … But such an alternative community is not natural for those conditioned by a hierarchical and dominating imperial society. They must be resocialised. They must “learn from me” … From Jesus’ discourses, from his definitive teaching of God’s will, and from his actions, disciples learn practices that challenge fundamental values and practices of the imperial society and begin to embody God’s salvation even now in anticipation of the time when it will be established in full.”

More than ever I want to learn from Jesus what it means to live in a new way. More than ever I want to shed images of the Father and of Jesus that hinder my coming. More than ever I know that this cannot happen in isolation. More than ever I want to come. Who else feels this way? It is learning time!

This week a few people in our community started to memorize Jesus’ sermon found in Matthew 5-7. We started with the first twelve verses. As an addition to my memorizing I also read through Carter’s commentary, “Matthew and the margins”. He states that the “first four beatitudes critique the political, economic, social, religious and personal distress that results from the powerful elite who enrich their own position at the expense of the rest. They delineate the terrible consequences of Roman power” p.131

When I read this I exchanged the word ‘Roman’ with ‘South African’ and this propelled me deep into my context of living in a post-Apartheid environment. I’ve said this before so I won’t elaborate on it, we as white Afrikaners (living in the suburbs) should renounce the lie of middleclass. Renouncing this false label places me/us smack in the middle of being part of the elite in South Africa.

I memorized the first four beatitudes:

- blessed are the poor in spirit

- blessed are those who mourn

- blessed are the meek

- blessed are those who hunger and thirst for justice

It struck me that these conditions are not mine, except maybe the fourth one. It also dawned on me how easy it is for the elite to dismiss these categories by the hermeneutical tool of spiritualizing the text and the poor. For example, in the new Afrikaans translation, verse 3 is translated as, “geseënd is die wat weet hoe afhanklik hulle van God is / blessed are those who know how much they’re dependant on God”. This translation favors the status quo and it can serve to continue unequal economic and social structures even within Christianity! All that is needed is an attitude of dependence. How nice to have Jesus and be a part of the elite, thanking God daily that I’m not poor and mourning. [I do believe that there is a definition of poor that extends beyond economics, but I reject all interpretations that ignore the economical category].

A good friend of mine had a meeting with an extremely rich man this week. As they talked the American (the country is actually irrelevant) mentioned that he believes in the absolute sovereignty of God and that for him this means that some people are poor for a reason and some are rich for a reason. When I heard this I once again realized how easy it is to develop this kind of mindset when you’re rich.

Furthermore I realized that we, as the rich elite, usually criticize the Pharisees for their lack of righteousness. We especially like to emphasize their obsession with works. This caricature serves to strengthen our passivity and non-involvement with those who are poor in spirit, mourning, meek and they that hunger and thirst for justice. We use this as a very effective rationalization – for after all we don’t want to get involved in ‘dead works’. It also dawned on me that it has been a long time since I’ve heard someone talk about the economic facets of the Pharisee party, that they had an economic reason for feeling threatened by Jesus’ table fellowship and for maintaining the status quo. When we open our doors to the outcasts it will have consequences for our own economic rhythms, and everything that we label as our lifestyle! In this sense the church can easily become no different than the medical aid schemes of our day, screening people out if they pose a risk to the purse.

I’m struggling with these few verses. The fact of the matter is that I’ve been privileged in South Africa at the cost of others. This leaves me with a sense of being poor in spirit, but for goodness sake I don’t want to use it as an excuse for ignoring the physical poor! It also left me feeling that in a significant way I’m already living the rewarded life, Jesus said – according to Luke,

“But woe to you who are rich, for you have already received your comfort.” (6:24)

As I dug further into the sermon it also struck me that I live in a country where the minority took 92% of the land and displaced the majority on the remaining 8%. This led to a group of South Africans who are “economically poor and whose spirits or being are crushed by economic injustice.” p.131.

Also that the meek, quoting Psalm 37, are those who have lost their land and doesn’t retaliate out of revenge but allows God to make things right. The promise for this group is that they will inherit the land – or get a fair share of the other 92%! This is highly relevant for our South African situation.

This stuff is very real for me and I wonder/pray/struggle daily on what discipleship means for me and my family (faith and biological). What does it mean to disentangle the deeply ingrained social sins that have benefitted me and my family?

Please don’t think that I’m in despair. I’m not. Carter states that “The focus in the second group of beatitudes moves from the circumstances which God is reversing to human actions that manifest God’s empire.” p.134. There is hope! Just take Matthew the tax collector as an example. He also benefitted from being on the side of the oppressor – and then he stood up and followed Jesus.

But, before we move into solutions too fast I think one (or I) has to grapple with the fact that my/our personal and collective histories as Afrikaner(s) places me/us in the oppressor category when I/we read the first four beatitudes.

We need limits. Discipline is important. Without discipline there is no freedom. Imagine going to a friend’s piano recital. She has been practicing the piano for the last five years. Four to six hours a day. She is free to play the piano because of the limits she placed on herself. Discipline led her to freedom. Now imagine sitting in the hall waiting for her to come and play. The board examining her calls you up and asks you to play – to “live without limits” – “feel free to play what you want”. I know that after I exercised my “freedom without limits” a good exorcist will have to be called in. The people listening won’t be free either.

When Paul encourages the young Timothy in his life of freedom he challenges him to , “train for godliness”. He tells him to stay away from silly myths and exercise towards becoming like Jesus. Becoming like Jesus won’t come through a philosophy of “living without limits”. It comes through a captivation of the person of Jesus – a vision. Then comes a choice to follow Him which conversely means choosing against some other things. After that comes a life of training or discipline – the means that place me into a movement-kind-of-life that takes believing into the daily rhythms of life. Then we will discover that by limiting or disciplining ourselves we become disciples. Free because freedom is a person. Jesus.

Don’t become so well adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

I feel drawn by the call to be in tune with a different rhythm. To be part of something that is characterized by what Kantongole calls “wild spaces” or what the South African David Bosch called, “operating silently and consistently as an antibody” or in another passage, “… a kind of antibody in society, in that it lives a life of radical discipleship as an “alternative community”.

But the reality is that I am stuck in so many ways. I have blind spots. It is within a community of diversity that these can come to light. A humorous example of our early adoption into this consumer narrative comes from my three year old son. A few weeks ago I asked him who created him. He answered Jesus. So far so good. When I asked him how Jesus did it Liam looked at me and said, “He bought me at the supermarket”.